my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
