I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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