we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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