I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize