She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
