He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
