Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
