Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
