i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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