Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
