I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
