is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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