I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
tell me about the fingering
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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