What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
