If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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