google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
