All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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