with your own penis?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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