There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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