I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
