We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
