i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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