Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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