he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do herpes really smell.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
