Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
