New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
