plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
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