I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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