The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
