I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
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Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
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I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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