this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
