Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize