you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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