Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
