I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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