I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize