Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
