Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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