did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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