i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
