my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
only you would photoshop your dick
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
