I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
