As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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