I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
