Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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