Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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