Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
