She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
