:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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