...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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