a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
