so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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