threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Everclear isn't food dammit
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
