Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize