If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
