Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I have post one night stand depression
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
