You work out of a Hotel?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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