Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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