Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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