We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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