Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
