Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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